When Someone Hurts You, Do This.
I’m sitting with a few friends from my youth group at a church potluck.
I take a bite of the hot chicken casserole.
And then it happens.
Rachel asks me, “So, where does all your weight go, down to your toes?”
I stop chewing and drop my fork.
Can I just eat without comments about my being thin?
Rachel and her friend continue eating, staring down at their plates.
My eyes shift around the room. It’s like a bomb dropped but no one heard it except me.
I laughed at her comment and joked, “Yeah, I have giant toes.”
But it wasn’t funny to me.
Years later, I still remember every word she said too clearly.
The sting is gone, but I still find myself wondering why she even said it.
Some words leave stubborn scars that won’t disappear.
My mom’s cousin, Pattie, struggled with her weight.
Pattie shared a story with us: One day, while she ate dinner alone at a restaurant, a stranger who was walking by decided to just stand by her table and stare at her for a moment.
“You shouldn’t be eating that,” he said, harshly.
Tears slid down her red face.
What gives people the right to be so judgmental? It’s as if they think they are above the people they criticize.
What’s the matter with me?
Do you ever look in the mirror and wish something about you was different?
And if someone gets close to pointing it out, one of your buttons is pressed.
And they didn’t even know you had a button.
When others try shaming us, it’s important to remember, that says more about them than it does about us.
Some people are rude. It’s like their filter is broken and the words trickle out, with little or no thought at all.
The truth is, we have no idea what any person goes through.
When someone hurts you, there’s a good chance they’ve been hurt too.
We’re really all on level ground, but not everyone acts like it.
We can’t control what others say, but we are responsible for how we respond to them. If we hold onto what is said, we’ll become resentful.
The answer is forgiveness.
How do you know when you forgive someone?
When you think about what they said, and it doesn’t sting anymore.
Over time, you may even forget the whole thing.
Another way you know if you’ve forgiven someone is by the way you respond to them. When you see them walking your way, do you try to avoid them? Maybe cross on the other side of the street?
We need to ask ourselves if we have ever let harmful words slip out of our mouths. In asking this, we may not be so quick to judge others.
And we’ll soon realize, all of us at one time or another have hurt someone we care about. At least, I know I have.
We should all listen to the wisdom of Thumper,
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”
What about you?
Can you remember a time you were hurt by someone’s words?
How would you feel if you saw that person?
What have you found helpful in forgiving someone?
Writing is just one thing I do…
If I’m not behind my camera, I’m probably messing with charcoal or paint.
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